Loyal Followers

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Rage Against the Juice...and some other nonsense

They conspire to do everything and anything. Everything which is bad almost inevitably involves their conspiracy. Brazil's and Argentina's defeats at the World Cup are also because of them. (England's defeat is not due to them though. The English players are just too damn lame!).

(Digression. Football joke of the day. David Blaine is gutted. His record for doing absolutely feck all in a box for 42 days has been shattered by Wayne Rooney. LOL!!!)

They rule the world. They are bad.

And of course in certain countries, ours included,  they are also the perennial punching bags for people hoping to score some political brownie points.

Who are they?

They are the Juice.

juice

Notice the similarity with this?

perkasa demo

It appears to be universal, this totally inexplicable urge to entertain. Our little neighbour down South, is not to be left out when it comes to this kind of thing. IN response to my satire, "Kami tak kow tow, kau tau?", a person, professing to be a Singaporean, posted this comment:

"1. 20% of crime rate down...
2. 2 submarines...
This doesn't prove anything about malaysia malay kow-towing to anyone...
ON the other hand, We singaporeans do not need % and figures to tell us that our crime rate has gone down...because all along we are given a good ranking due to our utterly low crime rate internationally.
2 submarines doesnt mean can win us...It doesnt threaten us a single bit, please...
and we do not even have cases of stolen aircraft engine parts besides your country...
So it just proves that w/o having to kow-tow to anyone, u people are already losing national assets like losing money in gamling at Genting Highland."

A part of my reply (I don't know why I even care to reply, but I did for the heck of it!) says:

"This blog is not about comparing who has the bigger sexual organ. And if you are in the habit of doing so, perhaps you should not visit this blog.
Have a good Sunday."

And yesterday, my remark about some people "comparing who has the bigger sexual organ" took a surreal twist, when a piece of news from Singapore was titled "S'porean seeks sponsor to enlarge breasts".

It is here. An extract would not be out of place, just to prove a - or several - points :-

"A YOUNG Singaporean is seeking sponsorship for breast enlargement to enable her to sport a bikini for an online show, China Press reported.

The 22-year-old wants to enlarge her breasts from size 29A to 32C for the online show titled Bored in Bikinis, which requires its hosts to wear bikinis for various activities, including playing games and reading the news."

I rest my case.

But of course, Malaysia has to compete. And so, the Malay Mail reported that KD Tunku Abdul Rahman "remains at the Teluk Sepanggar naval base in Sabah as problems have again resulted in the submarine being docked."

I am restraining myself from writing  my normal four letter word reaction in order to prevent an "x" rating for this article. What the bloody hell is happening? Why are there so many problems with the submarines?

If it cannot dive in tropical waters, why the heck did we buy it in the first place? And how do Singapore and Indonesia manage to make their submarines work properly? The last time I checked, the water there is the same with our water (except Singapore Newater of course!).

Why don't we just buy this?

submarine

We could have saved a hell lot, no?

Then, yesterday we have this news. "A member of parliament was rushed to hospital today after he felt unwell when attending a durian fest and mutton promotion at the multipurpose hall at Parliament House here."

I hope he is okay. Surely we do not want another by-election. Too much money is involved. The country could ill afford it. Petronas is not doing well. Sime Darby is not exactly the definition of "profit making corporation".

But it struck me.

A durian and mutton promotion in the Parliament house?

Is it me or everything is going nuts?

25 comments:

Kris said...

It's not you, a friend of mine once said that we are devolving and I couldn't agree more!

*P* said...

wow, that's actually damned effing cunning military strategy if you ask me!

imagine getting the enemy's navy to focus and wonder 'wassup' with our floating submarines and what we'll do next, while trebuchets fling our polish rosomak 8x8 armoured personnel carriers loaded with foot soldiers into their midst, and our retiring f-5e jets drop their engines right amidst their fleet!

now, that's bound to shock and awe, and at the same time spread panic amongst the enemy, don't you think?

donplaypuks® said...

Bro

Read all about submarines that fly and wingless and jetless planes and more:

click here

dpp
we are all of 1 race, the Human Race

Anonymous said...

Art,

Most people would know that eating durian and mutton cannot mix (too heaty lah) just like one don't mix eating durian and drinking beer/alcohol after that. However it seems that our MPs (Moronic Persons) have their heads and arses screwed upside down by having a durian and mutton promotion in Parliament House??? WTF??? Is our Parliament house becoming a market/pasar bazaar where our MPs' are doing their marketing?? No wonder the submarine is docked because the MPs brains are also docked!!!

A Pinch Of Salt said...

Dear Sir,
My wife and I have been following for some time now. We have always enjoyed your articles and I must say that they are really good and balance. Thank so much for standing up like any other true Malaysian in our mad society today. God bless you,Art!

Leithaisor said...

I am glad, Saudara Art...

Very glad that it is not just me who is absolutely FEDDUP with the nut-case state of affairs which Malaysia in particular is mired in.

It has become so bad that I have to force myself to keep up with the news.

The govt tries to tell the people that subsidies have to be cut, GST is vital and tadak money for scholarhsips while gushing about the need for a new RM800m Parliament in that aweful bastion of excessive conspicuous wasted public funds, Putrajaya and revealing that the already eye-popping cost of the new Istana has just doubled, followed by the renewal of APCO's contract which had cost RM77m per year previously. And countless other nauseating examples.

When will such irresponsible management of the rakyat's money end?

I never had much faith in or placed on Najib when it was apparent that he was likely to be entrusted with the premiership of Malaysia.

I have since seen no cause to correct my viewpoint. If anything, Najib has only managed to exceed how badly I had thought he would perform.

I could not imagine that any PM would have the gall to follow his "COme and see me for the RM3m cheque only if Kamalanathan wins in Hulu Selangor" with the RM5m "You help me, I help you" deal in Sibu.

Heck... of there was a referendum, and the people got to vote whether Najib should be PM, what will the outcome - with international observers to prevent "deals", exorcise hantu's, and stop returned postal votes which exceed the number of slips issued - be?

"Is everything is going nuts"? Seems there is little doubt what the answer is, no?

panca said...

Art, the (your, pic) 'proposed' submarine far exceeded its usage compared to the PeeM's choice of submarine that could not dive in tropical waters (huh), what moronic buyers? heard of anti-dumping, 1M must have not heard of it. Ok, back to 'your submarine', on one hand it sure looked like it could go on weekend fishing trip while on the other, it's a sure booster for the fat lady to imagine with the sight of this huge 'thing' and...she goes(WOW). Far exceeded the usage of the purchase of the Scorpene duds!!!

pinsysu said...

LOL! Singapore's policy is asset enhancement for all her citizens ... lady's assets included!! not sure abt male's asset as the effect of enhancement cannot be appreciated with 1 glance!

PR might have found a faster way to march to putrajaya ... hold more durian & mutton promotions in every BN party's functions / gatherings ...

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha, my name is Eddie. I love your writings!

Anonymous said...

are you sure crime rate is down by 20%? i think its more like 23.54395646213246845231450215%!!!
WOOHOO!!!!!

JZ said...

Art,
Not just the thought of having a durian and mutton promotion in the Parliament house but seriously, don't Malaysians already love their durians and muttons enough? Maybe the MPs needed to promote them coz the poor durian and mutton felt a little left out with all the attention goin to that 1 ball

rob said...

Art

We better than Singapore mah. Take for example our LRT v their MRT

If you put in alphabetically order then we come first.

We also no need driver for some lines.

Then again we have .... aha ... 4 mass transport system vs their one. We have Star, Putra, Monorail and KTM Kommuter.

Yeah - four times the spares required so four times more opportunities for jobs.

Some more ah our KL roads can convert to waterways. They now trying to copy us like what happened in Orchard Road last month.

So how to challenge? Cannot fight us lah ..

Malaysia boleh!

ps .. ah .. don't forget we got super businessmen like Tony F, Vincent T, Syed Mokhtar, AK, etc. Who Singapore got? All their government one ..

lastly our PM got sexier lips than your. Pink some more ..

Anonymous said...

Good One! haha..
Love u Art! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Murphy's Law is being proven alive and well again and again! Like Bala's exposes of all the wrong people intermediaries, deepfcuk and his police fren , the sub that doesn't dive, and now docked in naval base (tak boleh pakailah) and small doses of shit beginning to hit the fan!

Anonymous said...

Just a matter of time before the Malaysian submariners meet their maker underwater, UMNO's HALLMARK is ARROGANT INCOMPETENCE !

Singapore's Desfense Expenditure has always fluctuated between 4% & 5% GDP
World's highest is Eriteria @ 21% GDP
followed by Saudia @ 8%.
US is @ 4% and China surprisingly 2%
Though US's 4% comes to $600 Billion, its acceptable as it historically has military bases all over the world and with 12 or more aircraft carrier groups which is justifiable, like it or not they are the planet's best "emergency response" and diplomatic "knuckle duster" ... No other country wants to step up..


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_military_expenditure

voster said...

How dare you?!

Would you prefer that the government deny the good folks at Teluk Sepanggar their employment by having a sub that does not need them?

CK said...

mutton and durian promotion in parliament?
ministry of health should start health campaign with the MPs and public servants 1st.
and of course, the armed forces like police and soldier and since it's comparing session now.... look at how fit the armed forces in our neighboring country and look at ours. maybe we watch too many Tamil movies sigh~~~ (no offense to my Indian friends... I am just referring to the policemen in the Tamil movies)

lvbala said...

Super sub that can't dive. secondly, what more to exhibit in Parliament besides Durian and goat (Mutton)? Whats next? Petai and Jering?

Rabid said...

Durian party: this is not the first time. I recall at least 2 other sessions reported. Guess who is paying for it.

Captain Obvious said...

In the land of the rising sun, they have bushido. In the land of the multibolehsia, we have bullshitdo. Herm..... not bad, not bad at all!

Anonymous said...

The 'Durian and Mutton Fest'at the august house only goes to show the state of our Agriculture Department.

Thailand, our neighbour in the north, has held durian fest in Beijing's supermarket. Durians are now sold in supermarkets in China.

teo siew chin said...

HAHA and HA! i broke all me funny bones over this!
how's about writing about the good the powers-that-be have done so far? take your time, i wont hold my breath.
Art writes killer stuff.

Anonymous said...

The organizer of that durian + mutton eating event was Noh Omar. He said on TV that he wants some research done whether it is true mutton eating can contribute to high blood pressure. Immediately after, that poor chap collapse not too far from him.
My sympathy to the poor chap but Noh Omar looks more pathetic !

Organicer

張怡 said...

Hello~Nice meet you~~............................................................

Jasmine said...

Haven't visited your blog for a while. Must say I like the new look but somehow there is less rage in it! If you equate pitch black to rage.

Unlike Singapore, we do not drink sewage water.. whether you like it or not NEW WATER is still sewage H2O as it has gone through all those toilet holes....