Loyal Followers

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Ha ha of the week*

*before some Nazis decide to charge me for whatever offence, allow me to say that this post IS A JOKE and being a joke, IT IS NOT TRUE and is NEVER MEANT TO BE TRUE.

I received an e mail with the following joke today. I do not know who the original author is. I hope he or she doesn’t mind me sharing it here.

Top Ten Reasons Why Terrorists Will Never Succeed in Attacking Malaysia

#1. Terrorist decides to blow up KLCC. He drives to KLCC with the intention of planting the bomb there, gets stuck in a 2-hour jam, and blows himself up in frustration. PLAN FAIL.

#2. Terrorist decides to bomb Ipoh as a practice session before targeting KL. He drives for the first time on the highway to Ipoh trusting the signboards to get him there, and ends up in Lumut. Terrorist drowns himself in the sea in frustration. PLAN FAIL.

#3. Terrorist decides to blow up Puduraya. While walking to his destination, the bag in which he keeps his bombs gets snatched by snatch thieves on a motorcycle. He pulls on his bag's strap desperately and dies after being dragged 100m on the road. PLAN FAIL.

#4. Terrorist decides to blow up Port Klang. He succeeds!! But the next day The Star, NST, Berita Harian and Utusan publish an article on page 10 headlined "Boy playing with fireworks injured in minor explosion." PLAN FAIL.

#5. Terrorist decides to bomb Johor Bahru. He rents a house as headquarters and the night before the dastardly deed, three men with parangs break into his house, robs him and kills him. PLAN FAIL.

#6. Terrorist decides to bomb Kedah to paralyze the rice bowl of Malaysia. That night, while secretly setting up the bomb during a heavy thunderstorm (so that no one sees him), Timah Tasoh Dam hits danger level, authorities open the dam gates and he is swept away in the floods. PLAN FAIL.

#7. Terrorist decides to blow up Bukit Bintang. Upon arrival at destination, he is accosted by a pimp and spends the night in the arms of a beautiful woman. At dawn, authorities raid the place and arrest him. PLAN FAIL.

#8. Terrorist decides to blow up the MACC building as he is a strong advocate of corruption. He enters the building, but before he manages to plant his bomb, he is found dead after a fall from the 14th floor window. PLAN FAIL.

#9. Terrorist decides to blow up Serdang Hospital. He enters the hospital lobby, hears a loud crashing sound and looks up to see the ceiling collapsing on him. He dies. PLAN FAIL.

#10. Terrorist decides to blow up Genting Highlands. On the way up the mountain, a speeding bus driven by a 18-year-old boy without a driving licence crashes into his car and kills him instantly. PLAN FAIL.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
MALAYSIA IS INVINCIBLE TO TERRORIST ATTACKS!!

34 comments:

Puisan said...

so true....Malaysia memang boleh!!!!!

nikmatismail said...

Good One!

Donplaypuks® said...

Hilarious! Rosemajib's home grown plan to stop terrorism from taking root in 1M'sia.

dpp
we are all of 1 Race, the Human Race

FC said...

timah tasoh is in perlis. it flows to perlis river and then to the sea. blurffthh!

Anonymous said...

Art,
I have always appreciate jokes, but somehow this one didnt even tickle me. I know you fore-warned us that this is a joke, but We dont joke about things like blowing up buildings and killing people. It is just bad taste.
Really.

Reality Check said...

Annonymous @18:42, the whole article was actually not about bombing buildings & people. The obstacles that prevented the terrorist were the joke. See, the obstacles the terrorist faced were products of Malaysian incompetencies, inefficiencies etc.

Anonymous said...

One terrorist wanted to bomb the 'merdeka stadium' on 709 was blinded by the tear-gas bomb !

Anonymous said...

Art,

#11: Terrorist decides to blow up Merdeka Stadium on July 9th. He walks all the way from his budget hotel in Petaling Street to Merdeka Stadium but was shot up by tear gas canisters and hosed down by chemical laced water courtesy of the Malaysian police. He survived the tear gas and chemical water attacks. Halfway to Merdeka Stadium, he was attacked by 15,000 silat exponents bearing severed cow heads and died of a heart attack. PLAN FAIL.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Art.

You make my day!!!

But careful, them paranoids can unnerstan England well and may misinterprete this article as subbersive.

Anonymous said...

anon 0005, dun clone from mine ! (0001)

Anonymous said...

this must single handedly win the award of the worst article ever written by a clever man such as yourself. why degrade your blog like this? this is not a joke Art... terrorism is not a joke.

very disappointed.

art harun said...

Anon of 22 July 2011 @ 08:29,

Thank you for thinking that I am clever. The truth is, I am not.

Anonymous said...

Hi Art,

I second your post @8.29. haha

What misconception these cybertroopers have, both in terms of the articles and in regards to your post @8.29.

Haha, but you r still Da Man!

Signed,
Anti-cyber troopers

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 22 July 01.36,

OK lah, you are the smart one with the original terrorist 709 joke so no need to to over react to Anon @ 22 July 00.05's version. Guess you are not aware of the time lag when your joke was posted. Anyways since you "own" the original 709 terrorist joke, we will award you the Katak Ibrahim Ali trophy for the best original joke, satisfied?

Anonymous said...

And while the Terorrist having sex with girl in Bukit Bintang, he found an omega watch, Pak Anwar butset him before he can blow up the bomb, plan FAIL ha ha ha.

Anonymous said...

anon 2000 , hahahaha ...tq but pls forgive me !

Anonymous said...

..go elsewhere, martyrdom and rally denied here, need permit first

Anonymous said...

Terrorist tries to bomb petaling treet. He is a chauvinis perkasa. Accidentally touches daging salai babi. Goes to samak his hands. PLAN FAIL.

Terrorist tries to bomb umno quarters. He igets into the main office where everyone is stuck watching a porn video featuring an opposition leader. He tells himself why the hell is he suicide bombing when his boss has so much fun. He accidentally blows off anyway. Fail....

Anonymous said...

Good one LOL

Sea MunnKey said...

I like the MACC part ... thanks for sharing!!

Sea MunnKey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Art

I enjoy your jokes.
Just wonder why some people are so serious.
They must have very stressful life. Everything can be made as jokes-except prophets, Quran and Allah.

Regards

Anonymous said...

#7. Terrorist decides to blow up Bukit Bintang. Upon arrival at destination, he is accosted by a pimp and spends the night in the arms of a beautiful woman. At dawn, JAIM raid the place and arrest him. He turns and look at the beautiful woman, only to realise that he is a transvestite. He pukes, PLAN FAIL.

ashley said...

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Krishna said...

Sir, if you send me an email to singhkris@gamil.com, I will email you a lot of interesting jokes and stories. I might even send you documents of Rosie's diamond rings.

Krishna said...

Sir, if you send me an email to singhkris@gamil.com, I will email you a lot of interesting jokes and stories. I might even send you documents of Rosie's diamond rings.

Jerine said...

Terrorist plan to drop bomb from the airspace. He tried to hijack jet plane but found out it has missing engine. PLAN FAIL.

What A Lulu said...

terrorist decides to plant a bomb along the path of najib's walkabout. before he is able to start the clock, he stumbles over a loose tile, looses his footing and the bomb slips his hand, landing in rosmah's big big hair. bomb lost for eternity [maklumlah, rosmah's big, big hair is the big black hole of malaysia]. Plan FAIL!

baDboyzs said...

hahaha

Invinvible Malaysia !

Malaysia bolih !

Gold Digger said...

Cool joke.... at least there is some dude who knows how to laugh at anything in the world.... no need to be super sensitive... you'll die of heart attack if u're too tense... life is too short to worry too much. Go have a happy time in Bkt Bintang. Its worth it.

D.A.D said...

hahaha..funny article..its nice to know some people can still have a good laugh at how dumb things can get here in Malaysia.:)

CyberPRINX said...

i like the Klang Port one, Cover Up news by the papers, LOLLL

Anonymous said...

In a flying-ship , terrorist shouted
at the passengers :'Hijack !'
Jack responded : "Hihasan !"
( Hasan bin ali-baba fainted !)

PLAN failed lah !!

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