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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Hairy Chua and the Glove of Gutter Politics

Aah, Dr Chua Soi Lek.

He who modifies the word "motherf**ker" to "personal friend f**ker". Finally he finds that he has a voice after all. That he can speak. That he can express himself orally and vocally, without the help of a video-cam. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Quite often in the past, when circumstances demanded that he speaks, in his capacity as the President of MCA, in order to voice out the grievances and hopes of the Chinese community, which his party claims to represent, he failed miserably.

Quite often in the past, when occasions presented themselves and he did speak, he would do an about turn and wash out the contents of his speech after being chided like a 5 year old boy by the UMNO leadership.

Quite often in the past, he did not find within his anatomy and senses to even utter a single word at the likes of Perkasa and Pekida, which continue to hurl abuses after abuses at the community his party, and himself, claim to represent.

If matters concerning the very particular community his party claims to represent escape his attention, what more about matters concerning other Malaysians and Malaysia at large. Oh well, I suppose, they are not his "personal friends" and therefore he doesn't want to screw around with them.

So, as I was saying, suddenly, Dr Chua (why must it be always the Doctors?) finds that he has a voice. That he can speak. And so he speaks. Yes. He who-was-caught-with-his-pants-down-while-shaking-another-woman-without-wearing-a-glove has spoken.

Awesome. Because the world has been waiting for this messiah of good manners and free love to speak for quite sometime. What an occasion. I mean, this must have been more stupendous than when Chi Chi the gay panda started to look a bit interested in Ivy the virgin panda. Like, wow.

At a time when the Malaysian economy is said to be overly dependent on the American economy, thus putting our economy at risk due to the instability of the American economy, what did Dr Chua speak about?

At a time when Petronas' income and how it is spent is shrouded in mystery and more closely guarded than the Pope and Obama put together, what did Dr Chua speak of?

At a time when principles of equality, universal human rights; issues on corruptions; leakages of government's spending; subsidy cutting; over bloated public service and infrastructure expenditures; widening national budget deficit; rempits on the roads; rising police death; widening national rifts involving religion and race; plus numerous other and myriads of issues of national importance, what subject did Dr Chua find the time to sharpen his hitherto non-existent oratory skills with?

Yes.

Dr Chua finds the time to speak about the PAS lady candidate for the Tenang by-election refusing to shake hands with males without wearing her glove. According to him, a lady like that would not come to a temple. Says he:

"She will not come here (a Chinese temple), she doesn't even shake hands with the people. I have received complaints about this.

“She is like Anwar Ibrahim's wife. She wears gloves when she shakes hands. If you can accept this kind of Islamic values, go ahead and vote for PAS."

Well Dr Chua, I don't know about going to visit a temple, but one thing for sure, I know she wouldn't be caught in a hotel room having sex like a rabbit while being video-taped.

Straight after, Dr Chua's unlikely ally, deputy Domestic Trade Cooperative and Consumer Affair minister Tan Lian Hoe of Gerakan chipped in to say that   her practise was proof of PAS's goal to establish "an extremist Islamic state". How very astute. I suppose soon Puan Normala would be carrying explosives and blow the temple in Tenang to smithereens eh Madam Tan?

If that was not enough, Madam Tan, she from the non-existent party, continued:

This is the most basic thing... Not only men, but when she shakes hands with women, she also needs to wear glove....This is not friendly. It's as if she thinks our hands are dirty... I hope the Chinese voters are careful (with Islamic state). We are very worried about the Islamic state. They want to implement an extremist Islamic state."

Dear Madam Tan. First of all, it was not PAS who declares Malaysia as an Islamic state. It was Dr Mahathir, your supreme leader who declared that. Then as recent as last week, it was your leader, the Deputy Prime Minister, who declared before Hillary Clinton that Malaysia is an Islamic country. Get it? So, before you accuse of some people of being extremist, could you first look into your own skirt, eh I mean backyard, and see your own warts, okay?

If the two of you, Dr and Madam, are not clever enough to know that Muslim women wear glove to shake hands with men not because they are not friendly or they think that your hands are dirty, allow me to educate you. They do so because the Quran prohibits touching of between people of opposite sex who are non-Muhrims. If you don not know what non-Muhrims mean, go and google it yourself because really, I don't want to spoon feed both of you.

Despite being taken to task by none other than the Deputy Prime Minister himself, Dr Chua had remained adamant that he did nothing wrong. As it is, he is reported by Malaysiakini to have said:

"So what is so great about that? That is your religious value which I don't know. How am I to know about the religious values when I'm not practising that religion?”

"I have the right to say that it's basic manners to shake hands with people. That's my values. Understand? You also must value my value, which is good manners, which includes shaking hands."

Well Dr Chua, if your knowledge of Muslim sensitivities and the Malay culture is as much as you know about how not to get caught having sex while being videoed, then perhaps you should retire and open a karaoke centre  somewhere in Muar, no?

You live in a multi-ethnic-faith country, for God's sake. At the very least, own up to your mistake, like you owned up to your past mistake. Then say sorry. And move on.

That would be good manners, don't you think?

35 comments:

BookWorm said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

LOL,Well said !

Pratamad said...

Well done, Art!

By now Malaysians should realise the father-and-son clowns in Tenang. Poor MCA, being turned into a circus.

Sing Lau said...

O Sir, if I have my way, I will make shameless scumbag to read your article until he can memorize it!

Anonymous said...

Wow, u have come out swinging with some heavy punches.

I reiterate, the lady decides as to whose hand she is willing to shake, that's her prerogative. Unfortunately in Male dominant Msia this is not acceptable behavior coz the Tun, the Dato and the Tan Sri believe that they have a God given right to do almost anything. Any my views are clouded by my custom, where the lady has the right. Unfortunately like you have alluded to b4, this is not a privilege that is accorded to most Malaysian women.
Rather, the norm appears to be, Yo, Bl#&dy B#%^h, get me a brewski as I watch Chelski kick some Devil's a@s%.

*P* Nayar said...

well, look at it this way: depending on where the survey is taken, up to 90% of men do not wash their hands after a pee. meaning that if you're in a room with nine other men, do what normala sudirman and wan azizah wan ismail do - wear a glove before you shaken anyone's hand....better safe than sorry, after all! :-D

SANSIRO said...

Art, it becomes a norm in this nation the politicians will rather commit suicide than apologizing. Don't you think so?

Anonymous said...

Kudos Art...this idiotic doctor is not qualified to assess Normala.He is too dirty and disgusting to talk about manners. Good manner is you don't commit adultery and even if you do,you do it discreetly and not have it video-taped.This doctor and all the BN goons are sick in the heads....I guess they used the wrong heads???

Anonymous said...

All these MCA shitheads, they are a disgrace. Cant wait to send them all to the gutter come GE13

Belinda said...

Wow. What powerful writing. You really have a great gift with a pen. If Dr Chua leads with his chin what is one to do?
With great admiration,Belinda

justicenequality said...

The Dr & Madam from BN are really STOOPING so LOW to demonise the PAS Candidate. After 53 years of Merdeka we still have such 'lowly parasites' in Top Ruling Party Position.

Mana ada STANDARD compare to S'pore? More akin to Zimbabwe class.

Politicking need not be so Demeaning,Degrading n Dehumanizing.

Kris said...

LOL!!! Holier then thou isn't he....

Anonymous said...

Surely many closed door meeting among the leaders of the b-end took place after his demeaning statement, no ?

With such an uncalled for remark, where are the likes of KJ, Pekida, Perkasa etc. huh ? Your belief and mannerism has been insulted and yet you guys are so quiet, eh !

Show us you all are men enough and scream at this chua and also demo against his party at MCA HQ, can ah. In politics these are the scums we have when things wronly said within their group members, ok lah since top guy remains silent.

I wonder how he faces his women party members during meeting. His bribing strength must be good for his rise to the top in MCA even with such a tainted past. Those who had voted for him must be as corrupted too.

Anonymous said...

Chua went to town about gloves and Islamic state. Then Muyidin effectively asked him to shut up. Could it be because Chua is pissing off the Malay voters with his gloves talk? Then you have a barking dog quietly walking back to his kennel with tail between the legs.

The Chinese voters probably don't give a shit about gloves or Islamic state. They probably were trying to relate the man they seen on the pron video with the man standing in front of them talking about gloves, all the while thinking this guy doesn't use the right head properly.

MCA members must feel damn shit. Their numero uno asked by Muyideen to shut up and he obeys!!! Malulah!!! Where to put your face! Better not even wear MCA T-shirts. You will get laugh at. Might as well disband MCA and form "Friends of UMNO".

Anonymous said...

Next he'll say it's not good manners if a woman doesn't want to have sex with him. That's his values.

Dr. Pujari Ambohta said...

For a doctor who's so accustomed to bonking without glove on, wearing gloves when shake hands is surely a grave issue.

Anonymous said...

LOL. People in glass houses should not throw stones or.....?

cheahsinkooi said...

Thanks Dr.Chua for making PAS candidate Normala look good.

Chua Soiled Leak said...

Modern Chinese Rakyat no longer trust this evil apa nama who speaks with double-forked tongue, i.e. snake = Chua (in hokkien)

Anonymous said...

Thanks dr chua for making umno look bad.

Anonymous said...

Pitiful characters, the Father and Son team. They are trying to be the Tenang Chinese Heroes together with the woman who depends on Malay votes to be an MP. But hold it, making a capital issue out of a handshakes is a non issue. A suggestion to them, how about questioning conversion of A child to Islam. This will endears them to all the non Muslim in the country. Guessed they will shrink and hide if this tropic is brought up. Village Bullies....Shameful

dotsnodds said...

Yup, agree with Anonymous 09.24. In the next political episode Dr Chua will be issuing another statement if he is caught sleeping with another woman: "You must value my values, because to me having sex with other women who is not my wife is my value".

Anonymous said...

petty politics, all these polemics show how childish we r, no nation building material.

Btw, what the criteria for definition of 'islamic state'?? when islam founded in 7th century, no concept of statehood then!

Anonymous said...

Yes, why can't the politicians of the day debate / comment on more relevant issues instead of the non-relevant ones :(

Anonymous said...

MCA = Moronic Chinese Association. As usual, briliantly written. I've never watch the video, but I'm gonna find a copy tonight!! That will keep me off s** for a while.

dotsnodds said...

nation building my foot! RM889 billion gone thru illicit flow out of the country in 8 years by whom, how and Bank Negara still cannot explain. the only nation building country we've heard of lately that have come out of the doldrums is Tunisia. If u think u can write an enlightening nation building idea show me one...

HAHAHA WHAT A NATION BUILDING ASSHOLE JOKE! Build the Istana Negara for 650Billion without even calling for open tender, is that what u call nation building, boy?

hide behind your name somemore

Anonymous said...

Please Art, we DO NOT want him in Muar, please be sensitive about Muar people and suggest alternative places like Putra Jaya.

Thank you, but no-thanks to this snake.

Anonymous said...

i wonder if dirty old chua wore a glove on his little stub when he was busy "shaking" his "personal-ayam-friend" in that sleazy hotel room. just looking at his concave scumbag face disgusts me to no end - yuck.

Parody of Bolehland said...

If that is his value and he gets offended by people not respecting his values, can she with her values also get offended by people not respecting her values too, huh? See posting on similar topic in this blog.

toyolbuster said...

My advice to Madam Tan is for her NOT to get too Personally Friendly with this Chua or otherwise before she could yell "HARDER", my DVD supplier will be calling me to get the latest release titled "Gerakan Lady Shaken by Muar Stud WITHOUT GLOVES ON"

Anonymous said...

shaking hands is part of his values.
being touched and open himself to be blown out are part of his values too. real good values for all to see. no, you dont feel the shame in him, do you?

Anonymous said...

toyolbuster,

i cant wait for the sequel with his son as director and producer. All in the family, eh?

Anonymous said...

toyolbuster,

i cant wait for the sequel with his son as director and producer. All in the family, eh?

cinafong said...

Funny yet depressing. The more I read about the mess I go away feeling more depressed.

Anonymous said...

I bet you can't give the definition of a tripod in less than 10 words like below, Art.

A tripod is a CSL with his 3rd leg.

Unebomber