Loyal Followers

Monday, April 18, 2011

I almost lost it!

It's Monday today. And strange things happen on Monday.

Electricity supply went dead at about 5am today. I quickly woke up and groped in the dark for my iPhone. With the light coming from the mobile phone, I managed to locate my battery powered fan. That took care of the humidity in the room.

After finding out that the whole street was dark, I called the TNB hotline to lodge a report. That done, I went to the kitchen for the candles. I then lighted five candles.

Soon my wife woke up together with my school-going daughter. I placed one candle upstairs just to make sure the small boy does not wake up in the dark. All of us then went downstairs.

I placed three candles in the living room and one in the kitchen.

The three of us - myself, my wife and my daughter - sat in the candle-lit living room chit-chatting for a while. After sometime, I stood up and went to the book shelf looking for a book. Finally I found it. It was the Bible (it was the English version - as opposed to Bahasa Malaysia - and therefore I presume it was alright for me, a Malay Muslim, to keep one at home).

I sat down again with the Bible in my hand. I began reading it in front of my wife and daughter. At first they were a bit startled. But soon they began to give rapt attention to my Bible reading.

After about 10 minutes, my daughter went to the book shelf. Later she came back and sat down with a book of hymns. She then began to quote some verses from the hymns. Later she began to sing them.

My wife was in full attention. So there we were, bathing in the lights provided by the three candles, undertaking some serious Christian acts!

After about 10 minutes, I went to the washroom. I did not bring any candle with me. I just brought my iPhone. Guided by the light coming from the mobile phone, I brushed my teeth. While doing so, I suddenly realised that what I was doing just now (reading the Bible) in the early morning was downright strange, if not blasphemous, as I am a Muslim.

Then I thought what my daughter was doing was even more disconcerting. I mean she was singing hymns at 5.30am for God's sake!

I began to feel funny.

After brushing my teeth, I went to the kitchen. I saw the candle box on the kitchen table and decided to take a close look at it. Here it is:


I was horrified reading what was written on the candle box. It says "White Religious Candles". It also says "keep for.... carols"!

Obviously the candles were meant for Christians to use them in Churches and while singing carols and hymns praising the virtues of their god Jesus Christ.

Oh my God. And I used five of them in my house this morning.

My wife, daughter and myself almost lost our aqidah this morning after sitting in the light provided by the three candles in my living room. Just imagine, I instantly began reading the Bible and my daughter began singing hymns. My wife also went along.

Thank God I went to the washroom without bringing the candle along. I managed to regain my religious consciousness in the washroom because the candle was not there.

Oh my God.

Now I understand why the poco-poco dance, Valentine's day celebrations and Manchester United jerseys are prohibited or discouraged  in certain states. And also why the Bible in Bahasa Malaysia must not at any rate be permitted in Malaysia, except for Sabah and Sarawak and perhaps also, the Federal Territories (which include Putrajaya, Kuala Lumpur and Labuan).

Please guys, be wary of this great Christian/Jew/Zoroastrian/Rosicrucian conspiracy to disengage us, the Muslims, from our aqidah.

I hope a halal candle would be promptly made available to the public soon.

post script - I am a great believer in not wasting anything and so, instead of destroying the 5 boxes of candles which I had kept in my house, I had given them to my Christian neighbour. I hope they wouldn't burn them when I go visiting their house next Christmas. Well anyway, I might not go to their house next Christmas as I might be seen as celebrating a Christian festival (although of course, Christmas marks the birthday of Nabi Isa allaihissalam). Oh well, I digress.


*P* said...

oh, behave, art! :-D

Anonymous said...

Praise the Lord that you found it in time before the damage could be done.
You must come up with a book about this, and maybe they will use it as a standard literature book. Remember to "interlok" the non's. Rocky of Malay Mail now uses the term Interlok when he refers to Indians, a pc way of not saying the "P" word.
Lawyers n writers make the world go round...

dotsnodds said...

naughty.... very naughty!

Anonymous said...

oh no..how dangerous....

Singam said...

Art, be careful. With this confession you may have exposed your entire family to the possibility of being taken in for corrective education and cleansing.

Anonymous said...

Dang doggone it! and we almost had you. why you had to go and expose our diabolical scheme!!!!! :P

Anonymous said...


Kalau hang balik Pida 15 Kampung Sanglang dan letrik tak dak, hang jangan dok bakar daun nyiok pula.

Itu sah hang akan hilang akidah pasal bawa obor obor adalah amalan agama Hindu. Lebih lebih lagi kalau bara api terjatuh dan hang jalan atas bara api. Itu hang sah ikut ajaran agama Hindu kerana berjalan atas bara api.


Anonymous said...

Salam Art,

I see nothing wrong in those acts, candles notwithstanding. Only, I was wondering if you've started the car and make your way with the family to the nearest mosque for Subuh prayers.

Not holier than thou

Anonymous said...

Salam Art

Aku kesian kat anak dan bini hang Art. Depa tu bargantung kat hang "for guidance but you have let them down by not showing the right path"

Apa yang jadi pagi tadi tu - "I almost lost it"; bukan sebab lilin gereja tu bukan sebab kitab Bible tu (Bahasa Melayu or otherwise) tapi "as a direct result of the western way you lead your life in which you may not even realise it"

Jangan lah dok "quote" Al Quran lagi . I dont think you have the Islamic standing for that .

Aku Peduli Apa @ APA said...

celebrating a Christian festival (although of course, Christmas marks the birthday of Nabi Isa allaihissalam)

Biar betul fakta Christmas ni..???

Gerry Perry said...

Careful here! Salvation is almost at hand!!

Anonymous said...

u prove me that u know nothing about Nabi Isa allaihissalam... put aside ur aqidah dude... read n study ur Al-Quran, there u'll find the real Nabi Isa allaihissalam... by then, don't surprise wit what u've found. I did found mine... n u will regret what u've said about the christian bible...

-pure muslim believer-

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't think it possible, but you've surpassed yourself with this piece, Art. Brilliant.

Anonymous said...

Doesnt anybody get jokes or sarcasm anymore? Stop taking everything so seriously already! Brilliant piece of writing. Had me laughing out loud all the way. :)

abdooss said...

those without humor will die without knowing what laughter is all about.. Art, keep it up, bro! :)

Suku Samdol said...

The next thing we know, Art will be branded as a turncoat for muslims.
Some people just don't get the sarcasm.
Good piece Art!

Barnabas said...

haha! i think you just invited yourself to at least a week's worth of teh tarik sessions with JAKIM!

marzi said...

I believe all religions msg are great if u cut out the people who screw it up..Saying that we hate the jews or the christians and saying that the torah n the bible should not be read is like denouncing them. They are all words of god. Didnt the Al-Quran tell us to accept the words of the Torah n the Bible, in the rukun iman, beriman kepada kitab-kitab. So isnt it a sin to be anti-christianity and anti-jewish. Even though the do harm to our creed and people. Shud we stoop so low as to hate them back. WHEN WILL THE HATE STOP!!!
the last part of the post that u shud not celebrate christmas. Is like saying u shud not celebrate birthdays.. Its just a fellow prohpets supposed bithday.( btw i dun think Chirst was born on that that, it used to be a pagan day of celebration, its a long story)
And to the person who said u, art shud not quote the Al-Quran, the individual should piss off. Who gives u the right to deny sum1's free speech next u knw u will be saying, dont think, dont express urself, its easy to denounce others look at urself before u criticise others.

Anna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
pua kang kang said...

Ohhh no..after reading some of the above comments, its really obvious how some people do not understand sarcasm laced with plain humour.

samsung said...

Art, don't you know the procedure? Before lighting the candle, just slice off a small piece from the bottom. That should keep yous safe.

freckled imp said...

cheeky....+ brilliant! ;D)

BCTan266 said...

LOve it. You are a master of this laidback tongue-in-cheek style. Alas, too bad some failed to see it.

Antares said...

Art, I suggest you sue TNB for exposing you and your family to the capital crime of apostasy.

siewchin said...

somebody is soooooo asking for
his S to be I_A-ed :)

Jimmy Liew said...

I like your sense of humour.

Anonymous said...

Aiyoyo ...Art , now the Silver Fatwahman will probably issue a decree banning white candles !

BIGCAT said...

suka hati engkau lah art. engkau nak baca bible ke, pasang lilin ke, nak convert terus jadi Christian ke. Suka hati engkau lah. Nak bawak anak bini engkau convert sekali pun aku tak kisah. ni kan negara merdeka. ada kebebasan beragama. ya lah. aku pun melayu liberal juga. cuma jangan bagi tau mak bapak engkau (kalau dia orang ada lagi la). Kesian dia orang, nanti dia org sedih. Tapi kalau dia org melayu liberal juga tak pa lah.

Anonymous said...

big cat,kalau art convert kasihan ibubapa mereka.kalau non muslim convert tak kasihan lah emak bapa mereka.baik punya logic.otak udang.

Candleman said...

Halal candles ?

Hmm... Mr Art may be we can partner to produce such candles, can sell at three times the normal price, we can make a lot of money.

Interested ?

BIGCAT said...

anon 17:57
kalau non-muslim convert pun aku kesian mak bapak dia org (kalau dia org ada agama lain la. kalau dia org tak ada agama apa nak kesian kan. tak rugi apa-apa). Ada aku cakap aku tak kesian kalau non-muslim? Aku kan melayu liberal. baca elok-elok aku punya posting. kalau tak, engkau la yang jadi prawn brain.

Anonymous said...

What big deal? reading other holy books does not weaken one's faith. Wearing a tie and suit does not make you a mat- salleh?.. former palestinian leader Arafat used to attend christmas Mass

Anonymous said...

A very simple explanation to all this comments.

People in Malaysia Don't understand English any more. That's it, nothing else.

It's like translating "Top Dog" into "Anjing Utama"

It's a crying shame, the country has actually gone to the dog's.

Anonymous said...

Doggone it, we almost had you, your wife and daughter. Now we have to start all over again. Psst....check your water supply as we have diluted your water supply with christian holy water. In no time, we will have you singing hymns again and dancing the poco-poco all night long.

Anonymous said...

ABSOLUTELY BRILLS, this tongue in cheek piece

A Pinch Of Salt said...

Hi Art,
Wonderfully and brilliantly written. I just wihs people would just lighten up and understand the meaning of your writings~ God bless you,bro.

Walski69 said...

In laying blame on the candles, I'm making the presumption that a good Muslim as yourself lives in an abode without a single square iota of tiled flooring. Or that your neighborhood is devoid of any T-junctions. And God-forbid that anyone in your immediate family drives a Chevrolet.

So many things that can damage our faith these days. I think the time has come for me to crawl back under that coconut shell, lest my aqidah gets attacked...

p.s. I realize that I have blasphemed at least 40 times in composing this reply. Kindly pray that my trespass and my wanton use of the letter "t" is forgiven... the world is no longer a safe place.

Terry said...

Oh no..maybe you will found out about us Chinese sitting around plotting the downfall of the Malays too. You know those old uncles at the Chinese coffee shop..that's what they are doing...

Anonymous said...

May God reveal Himself to you as you truly seek Him. Amin

Anonymous said...


oh! careful,ppl will brand you as 'liberal muslim'. Here the word 'liberal' has a negative connotation.

Abdul Rahman Chan said...

Brilliant piece Art, naughty but brilliant. I just felt sorry for those who took it literally and missed the point of that "Blasphemous" article altogether.

I wonder if they will accuse Sheikh Ahmad deedat or Dr. Zakir Naik the same for memorising the Bible.

Anonymous said...

..66 sissies sent to boot camp, very similar to chairman Mao's re-educational camp

Anonymous said...

Careful, Art! You are treading on thin ice. Ridhuan Tee Abdullah will have you by you-know-where for this.

Watch out for his article in Utusan about this transgression.

Anonymous said...

malays just very funny, seeing the cross is like seeing devil.

go to chinese coffee shop they say their heads spin; give them pretty pork eating girls, they say that's ok

they feel proud got a malay guy up the moon yet feel like going to hell by lighting up christian made candles.

wa, like that all non malays should not eat koranic chicken, ops... sorry i mean kentucky chicken...hehehe

mr. art, cant remember you mentioned about the faith of the bible you owned, still keeping them...hehehe, i think still in the almari.

what the citizen of malaysia called?

malaysians or malays? soli, soli, i digressed.

rgds, susie of cheras.

KK said...

Anonymous@ 19 April 2011 22:12

Don't worry RT will only dare to attack Chinese but not a genuine Malay like Art.

The bugger is just an opportunist, I still remember the lowlife chickened out when Art challenged him for a debate not too long ago.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic and hilarious comments. I always look forward to your new blog.
Thanks Art

Anonymous said...

Witty! You could have even named the article "TEST-iculation" to rhyme with ... :)
Sad that you got some nasty remarks from the Ketupat Brained.
But the positive remarks put a smile on my face as I am reassured of the presence of good willed and intelligent folk still aplenty in our beloved Malaysia!

Anonymous said...

Ever heard of a halal brush?

Jeyan65 said...

Looks like some of your own readers have lost it. Can't recognize a brilliant piece of sarcasm. Unfortunately, the message behind the sarcasm is not something to laugh abt. How politicians and influential civil servants keeping the masses stupid by being afraid of their own shadows . I am sure any Muslim who believes in his religion is not going to convert just because he read the Bible. It is in the Govt's interest to create bogeymen To keep people distracted by non existent threats while they keep their hands in the cookie jar. I am an Hindu. I have read parts of the Bible , Quran, zen and Buddism and learned to appreciate these great religions but still remain an Hindu. Think it is an insult to the Muslim community to think their faith is so weak. Pls keep writing brilliant pieces like this which is not just entertaining but reminder of what we r becoming as a society . I am even ambivalent abt offering food to my Muslim friends when they come over for Deepavali as I don't know if they will be comfortable eating at a non Muslim house even though halal. Fortunately my Muslim friends have no issues but it reflects what the authorities are doing to us as a society

LimSiangWee said...

aiyah....that's why there should hv been a cross and a label saying For Christians only on the box of candles. Otherwise, can mistakenly bought and used. In fact, should also include serial number .... don't you think?

onlydisiniboleh said...

Art, you had me in stitches. Lol. like your sarcasm. just to be even, I too have 2 copies of the Quran on my bookshelf together with several versions of the Bible including the AlKitab and if I am not mistaken, teachings of Buddha, yet I am a firm believer in Jesus. We are only as strong as our faith in God and have nothing to fear. Next time I buy candles, I guess I better read the label... :)

Anonymous said...

I am a person who laugh easily but this time, the laughter just won't come.

There are 3 things that you don't joke about:
1. Aqidah
2. Talaq
3. Freedom of a slave

Being a lawyer, I assume you are a voracious reader thus you are 'alim i.e one with knowledge. I hope you are also an 'amil i.e one who practices his 'ilm i.e his knowledge.

Take out an insurance. Do the taubat prayer with your wife.

May Allah forgives us all.


art harun said...

Dear Mak Orang aka Anonymous of 10 May:

Thank you for advising me to taubat. But your advice is misplaced.

I have not made joke about aqidah. I was making reference to those self-righteous-know-it-all Muslims who think It is so easy for our aqidah to be affected by completely silly things like wearing a Man U jersey.

Perhaps I am not good at writing and due to that you failed to see my intended message. If so, I apologie.

More importantly, you have absolutely no reason to drag my wife into this. She is in no way involved in this post or any other post of mine. In fact she doesn't even read this blog.

Why must you drag my wife into this? Perhaps you should taubat yourself.

Anonymous said...

Dear Art,

I think we share similar religious background. My only advantage perhaps is that I am a lady of leisure. Apart from reading, I attend kuliahs given by ustaz pondok as well as people like Tariq Ramadhan.

As one muslim to another, I am duty-bound to 'advise each other to truth and advise each other to patience.' What I am doing is merely sharing.

About the 3 things that I mentioned, the one that most muslims are familiar with would probably the talaq. Joke pun jadi, sms pun jadi, telling your good friend that you intend to divorce pun jadi. What more with aqidah which is 'thinner than onion's skin'. As a biology major, I would say thinner than cell membranes.

I am sorry that you are offended bcos I dragged your wife. No malice intended but perhaps you should let her read.

As with the taubah prayer, Nabi Muhammad saw did it everytime he felt he had tresspassed. So let us emulate the sunnah.

I ask for your forgiveness. Rabbighfirna.